Day 18
    I think I am finally getting out of the catatonic fog where my mind lay frozen in the past two weeks.  I am not as irritable all the time, and walls are officially not closing in on me.  Technically, I have just gone through the detox process (which lasts 10 days or so in rehab, where they pump you full of sedatives and begin planting the seed of 12-step based recovery in group sessions), only mine was in comfort/agony of my own home, doing the best I could with what I have...  The truth is, I have been to rehab before.  Hitting the rough spot in life several years ago, I medicated heavily with alcohol and sedatives, learning firsthand the mind-blowing effects of mixing the two.  My uncle, a retired police mayor, pulled some strings for me and I spent 40 days in a modern Russian rehab, staffed with gorgeous nurses, with horseback riding and exotic petting zoo - in picturesque setting near Ural mountains.
    This time I haven't the luxury of an exile.  Instead, I scribbled down the list of supplements my addiction-educated friend Olga prescribed, wore a tightest black dress and red lipstick and took trolley downtown to Alcoholics Anonymous.
    It was the AA that kept me focused those first several days.  Instead of "a drink after work", I dragged myself to the basement of a posh Soviet-era government building, where I sat in the last row,  tears in my eyes from the overwhelming melancholy, listening to a casual group of people who knew how to live life without alcohol.  Battling scepticism behind my dark glasses, I bargained and consoled myself; I had a great vision of my new life in mind and I needed to wait out the time... not drinking... Shy by nature, and a non-smoker among chain-smoking Moscovites, I didn't feel particularly welcome, and I left as soon as meetings were over.  I went home and went to bed, each night an exhausting journey of night sweats, chills and laying awake at 3 in the morning.
    Finally, the cocktail of amino-acids, horse dozes of Vitamin C, B-12 shots, liters of mineral water and mostly raw diet made me feel better physically. Just enough to take the edge of cravings for alcohol off...